Zombie walk

so, the Albany zombie walk was yesterday, and it was tons of fun. I went with Sarah and Megan and we got splattered with blood, and they got their make done, and it was awesome. then we walked along the streets of Albany terrorizing pedestrians. The event ended with a thriller dance, a brain eating contest, and the we watched Zombieland and it was still awesome, for those of you who haven't seen it yet, I highly recommend it. I decided to theme my outfit, so I went as a boyscout zombie, and I got quite a few compliments. Some other notables were zombie Jesus, zombie Luigi, Riff Raff(at least I think that's what they were trying to do) and of course the zombie specialist forces to keep us all in line.

hypocracy

well, great now i feel like a hypocrite. I just broke up with my girlfriend of a few months, a girl I've had a crush on since about 3rd grade. But sometimes its better when you're just friends I guess, and its definitely better than both of us trying to force ourselves to like the other as more than just a friend.

New design, new title, a new start

Well, after over a year of the exact same design I figured it was time to change some things. I like how it turned out, the design was just getting old, you know? well now designates a new start, I'm going to start posting more often, and hopefully about more interesting stuff, but for today I'm going to go have a nerdgasm.

So, Magic, aka magic:the gathering

its awesome, and i made myself a new deck, its counter-burn, and I love it, Its my 3rd deck of my own creation, and my 2nd good one, my other is my elf deck but after 4 years its pretty good and most of my friends cant beat it so it gets really boring, so I'm loving the change of pace my counter-burn provides, its so different.

I'm going to be teaching some more of my friends how to play so that should be fun, and i might be setting one of my friends up with a guy, maybe, possibly, if everything turns out all right, I know those 2 topics tend not to go well together but the guy is one of my friends who I'm going to be teaching. He used to play and have tons of rares that make me jealous, so i figure it should be a good time to help him make a deck and then actually get to play against someone besides kyle.

Well, nerdgasm over.

Im taking a mythology class right now, and its fun but a ton of work, we're doing this dance project for Heracles, who my teacher insists on calling Hercules even though we're using Greek names, its interesting, but we're going to fail because our dance sucks, maybe ill get a video up if I'm not too embarrassed by it. But im also reading the Necrinomicon, which i find to be more fun mythology than what we are doing in class, so that's probably lowering my grade, oh well, It's worth it.

And I gave blood today, my 2nd time ever, and i did the double red thing so they took twice as much as normal but seperated the plasma and put it back in me, however the downside is that it sits for a while and cools to room temperature, meaning i've been freezing since 5, but oh well, it makes me feel good about myself, and now I'm playing with the sticky arm bandage thing they gave me cause I'm cool like that :P

Well, back to work on my costume and college apps

epiphany

well, i had an epiphany today and it made me feel really stupid. I took a look at where I am right now and asked if i could change anything what would it be, and that was pretty clear to me, and I asked myself why not change it and the answer again was clear, i dont want to hurt people, I also dont want to be left halfway there and finding out that there was never an actual endpoint in sight.

After this i started thinking about my friends, or the people i call my friends, or want to be friends with, or dont want to be friends with. The people who i see as part of the group, part of my group, part of that group, or just the people. I tried to see where i fit in, and where i was trying to make myself fit in. I realized that i only care about a few of my friends, there are only a few people that care about me that I actually want around, but I also realized that I've let a lot of people i used to be close to slip away, and that's where a lot of my discomfort comes from now, Peter and I have hung out once in the last 3 or 4 years, Tyler and I have only seen each other once in the last 2 months if not more.

And then it hit me, in a few more months most of these people will probably never, or very rarely, hear from me again, whether they be the ones i care about or not. so I need to make the most of the time I have, without making myself feel like im imposing on them.

And I had one last thought today, that i'm not sure if i want to risk ruining a friendship even if it might make me happier for a while, but mistakes are made, they cant be taken back, and sooner or latter I'll make my choice take a risk or stay safe, hurt someone or possibly hurt myself, its all so confusing.


I just hope i dont lose everyone at the end of the school year, the few I care about are much too important for that.

yeah...

well, im an awful person, i make way too many mistakes, that is all