I came to a realization today, i am really proud of it though it took me this long to realize. No one is ever happy, just moderately less depressed, it took quite a bit to realize but its out now and things start to make sense.
1st off i have recently read Watchmen and am currently reading V for Vendetta, am thinking of rereading the prince by Niccolo Machiavelli and a few other books about the evils of humankind, and other things like that.
Its really refreshing, you know? to see someone who is able to just say how awful humans are? that's my new goal, to be like them. i idolize those authors for their understanding of human nature, and their ability to show the world.
We are never happy, never even content, just more or less depressed than we were. I was talking with someone i used to be friends with, she was spassing at me for hurting my ex girlfriend with some texts today because she said some things to my current girlfriend. Anyway, the point of telling you that is that this is what has finally proven to me this truth that i stated, and she was the first person i told, she laughed it off as a bunch of rubbish, that made me smile, how its so obvious to me, how i will finally see when i look.
earlier in the convo she said something about how she would rather hold a grudge forever than move on, and then i realised this one truth, that equals many others, yet is still surpassed.
On a different note 2 good things have happened in my life:
i have finally decided on my religion, I can say i am a deist, someone who believes god created everything, watched for a while, then left to go on to bigger and better things, ro to lase about doing nothing.
The second is during church the other day i finnaly came up with an idea for a story after my recent ideas fissled out and i got bored of them, its going to be about a healer, or a priest if u used gaming terms, in a war, and the woman he loves who is a soldier becomes deathly injured, the healer will give up his life to save her, to bring her back from the brink of death, his body falls to the ground old and withered, and in the background the army officer lets a tear slip as the man he loved gave his life to save the one who he had feelings for. thats right i said he. So he has a conflict in himself to either hate this woman who received his loves life, or care for her as his love would have wanted. in other words guy loves guy who loves girl, guy 2 gives life to save girl, guy 1 doesnt know how to feel.
and somewhere im going to prove that human kind is never happy, that will be the theme, i like it, as long as i dont get bored again i think it will turn out well
