money vs. free time

so, i've been babysitting for one of my aunts this week. I got $40 per day for babysitting one of their kids and overall it was fun. I spent most of the time playing videogames with him, watching movies and going outside on their trampolean(sp?) but i had to wake up at 6:15 so i would be ready for when my mom had to take me to her work where i would get picked up and sit around their house for a while waiting for him to wake up.

So, i have money now but im not quite sure if the whole waking up thing was worth it, oh well.

In other news, i missed breaking of the silence yesterday. It would have been nice to be informed about it by some of my friends who went, but i guess even then it wouldn't have been worth it. I wouldn't have been able to go anyway. I got home at 6 and we went out to dinner with my sister. they just bought a new house for the first time which is great, but it's in nasau, lol. my neice is going to go to DPS :P

but on a more serious note, my sister is pregnant and they recently found out that the baby has a cist on the back of its brain, as of yet they don't know what will happen or if it will effect her at all, but all we can do is hope for the best.

OMG we went out to dinner last night at mercardo's. Its an italian restauraunt and i ordered this clams casino pizza. IT was a white pizza with clams, bacon, onions, and garlic with motserella cheese. it was delicious.

so besides whats going on with the baby and me missing the breaking of the silence everything is going great, i am $120 richer than i was and i have the ability to put off my homework for quite a while still

well thats it, ttyl

Easter weekend/spring break

so, spring break is finnaly here and my current plans involve me having no down time lol.

This morning i went to church at 10:45 for a runthrough of the mass i will be serving at tonight at 8. i got home at 12ish and have been putting off cleaning the house. Tomarrow is easter, yay for candy and $20-$50 from the easter egg hunt. Family over all day. monday One of my friends is probably comming over for the night than tuesday is my 6 month aniversery with my girlfriend so hopefully she will be comming over. Wed. thurs. anf fri i will be babysitting one of my cousins.

so the storal of the mory is, don't fill up your spring break, you are going to want to have down time, even if you can make a lot of money by filling up your time, lol. i might be 150-200 dollars richar by the end of the week but its not going to be very fun

things to say

So,i havn't posted in a few days, but i finnaly have access again so i have a few things to say.

I do realize that i overeacted to the whole aprils fools day thing, and that i was very bitchy all last week. I had been stressed out all last week due to some...family problems and was already high strung. It didn't take a lot to blow me over the edge. I still think whoever told Kristen is a douche and that they should learn to mind their own business and not tell people, who tell everybody everything, what they don't need to know. As for the whole event itself, i am mostly over it.

last week whenever i finnaly found something that would cheer me up, someone did something that got me pissed off. I found something for a friend which she lost a few months ago andthought she would never find it, when i found it and gave it to her i felt great, it was probably the best i felt all week, since before monday at least, but it was taken away and i felt aweful again, even worse now.
(Oh and i found it because i was feeling bad, so i went out to sit on the hill, to reflect on what happened on april fools, and a while after it started raining i was walking inside and saw it on the ground, thats why i was able to mostly get over what happened, bacuse had it not happened i wouldn't have found it.)

Had a pretty good weekend and am overall feeling a lot better which is good. However i was slightly PO'd today when i spent last night baking only to come in today and find that the bake sale was canceled, which some of my friends already knew about. Because i spentmy time baking last night, i forgot to study for my Chem test today and think i did aweful (aka low 80's or high 70's)

Only 9 school periods left till vacation, only 8 if you take out lunch because you don't learn any thing.

Oh, tomarrow my school is doing day of silence because we are on break during the real thing, yay.

AGAIN

Why is it that everyone feels the need to tell Kristen everything. She is my sister, she doesn't need to know everything about me.

I get it, you guys pulled an april fools joke on me, but i thought you realized that it wasn't funny! and you still tell kristen about it. and once again she brings something up at the dinner table that 1. she doesn't need to/shouldn't know and 2. my parents definately don't need to know.

You must realize when you tell a teenager something, especially about someone they hate, they are going to spread it around, thats how a rumor starts. 

Your joke wasn't funny, as a matter of fact it was very hurtful. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be ready to kill someone? to chase them down, tackle them, and really be ready to kill them? cause i do. Then you find out it was a stupid joke. Today all that was going through my mind was that i had been ready to kill him with my own hands and it was all a joke. A FUCKING SICK JOKE!

if it was anyone else i would have been angry, i would have puched them, i would have done something, but because it was him i was ready to kill him. This was just one straw too many. I was ready to go straight for his neck and i would have too, had he not run. As i was chasing him i was thinking about drop-kicking him and kneeing him where it hurts. 

Yesterday was the best day i had in a long time, it was the first day i had been tuly happy in a long time. It was a great day, i had started one of my projects, school was going great, i got to play austin in magic, i was supposed to have plenty of time with molly and i got an invite somewhere i havn't been before.

When i got home i went into my bedroom did my homework and lay numb on the floor for half an hour. i didn't cry because i already cried too much this week. I felt aweful, i had never even asked for the full story or anything, it was all i could do not to run and find ethan as soon as i was told.

It was going to be one of the amazing days, you know? One where you wake up and know that great things are going to happen. It was one of those days, and hen i found out the feeling was wrond. I thought about suicide for the first time in ages, i thought about breaking up with molly in more depth than even after snowball, and there is nothing i can do to take it back.

I was ready to kill someone, i even thought about killing myself and you are telling my sister about a prank you pulled on my. Thats a great feeling,