communication

So, I have communication issues and I guess I want to talk about them to find other peoples opinions on them and whatnot. however, there are a few different ones and idk if they all fall under the category of communication but here it goes.

1. The first and most obvious a being easily misunderstood. I find that I will often say something, thinking it makes perfect sense only to then find out how easily misconstrued it is. The most recent example of this is on my formspring a few days ago where I was asked if I thought scars were attractive. i responded with

"no, however how the affect my perception is different. Physically I find it hard to find a scar appealing, however It wouldn't matter to me in the slightest as long as they aren't self inflicted. I find self inflicted scars disgusting and repulsive"

I thought that this clearly said that I find self inflicted scars repulsive, not the people or anything like that, but then I was yelled at for all sorts of things about how I was making fun of people who have resorted to hurting themselves, which I wasn't, I find the scars themselves disgusting, and it was that perception which was the only thing the stopped me from resorting to that method of release when I had tough times in middle school, if you want to see the whole argument its here MY FORMSPRING But anyway, this happens quite frequently and idk how to fix the problem. I will just say things and later be pointed out to saying that that was really rude, or i would be told that someone thought I meant something completely different. This happens with teachers and friends and all sorts of things.

2. I have insecurities of my grasp of conversation. Like if i'm given a number or adress or something I get worried if its correct and check 8 or 9 times, it probably has something to do with a fear of failure. Its one of the reasons I hate calling people because I have no idea what to do if I called the wrong number. Or same with times and dates, I'll check them so many times and still get stressed out on the way there because I start thinking what if I got it wrong? I would have wasted gas and my parents time and all sorts of things. This is why I hate being told to do something cause I'm always worried that I'll have gotten the message wrong and something getting screwed up will be all my fault.

3. I'm sure other people have dealt with this one, never knowing how to argue a point until after the argument is over. Especially things about relationships, I will never know how to say something or what to say until an hour or two later, but oh well, nothing much I can do about that, I guess its sort of like stage fright.

4. Arguments, I feel a need to win them. One of my friends has been flipping at me a lot recently for this, and so did the person on formspring so I think they are probably one in the same, but whenever I contradict him he'll just say "Wow Trevor, you really cant stand losing an argument can you?" Part of it has to do with the fact that he gets aggravated really quickly, but that doesn't mean that the point is null. Other people point this out to me quite frequently and I don't know why I do it. I really like arguing and that has to do with it suppose, I don't like letting arguments die even if I'm losing, because its fun to try to come up with loopholes and whatnot, its a good form of mental stimulation in my mind. I guess its also because I don't like people to think me unintelligent so I will always try to defend a point I made. But I guess this sort of falls back into the first category, and I try to stop, but its a habit that's been building for a lifetime.

5. Joking, I always seem to have trouble with joking, not necessarily taking a joke, though there are examples of me taking things to an unnecessary extreme, see April fools day 2009, but people tend to think I'm serious when I'm joking, possibly cause my jokes aren't funny, or yet again the first category, but still, it gets aggravating. For example there is a counselor at camp who I made a joke to my first year on staff about burning the flag, but he thought I was serious and my entire second year on staff he kept hating on me because he is very patriotic, hes going into the army and whatnot. Once he found out about my navy plans he seemed to lighten up though.

6... well I'm sure I have plenty more errors with my communication, such as people thinking I dislike them, leading to their dislike of me, see example Hathaway, or my failure at misportraying affection and whatnot, but please feel free to point this stuff out to me, I try to fix it, its just not the easiest thing to do.