For those who know me you probably already know that I am very opposed to drugs, or any form of anything that weakens ones control over their own body, actions, or thought. I have only had one sip of alcohol ever, and that's when I was 7 and stole a sip of dads beer to see what it tasted like. I have never tried any form of drug, and the idea of it disgusts me. Now I bring this up because these things are some of my basic characteristics, and things that have come into question in my life recently.
I only bring up drugs because I wish to explain my fear of them. I like to call myself an intellectual, and I believe the main purpose of life is though. Your thought controls everything you do, and I feel that when you take drugs you lose control of your thought, losing control of yourself in the process. I don't know where this feeling originated, seeing how i know one of my sisters has done drugs, a story I will elaborate on in a moment, and I know some of my cousins and their significant others do drugs, but this is shared by both me and my twin sister, we both hate drugs and never intend on trying them, and the same goes for drinking.
When I was younger my oldest sister was caught with pot in school, and all 3 of my older sisters stared drinking before they were 21, my only assumption can be that as Kristen and I grew up we saw them, their actions, and their consequences and we realized that that isn't how we want our lives, and we equated drugs and alcohol with their problems.
I lose respect for anyone who I find out is doing drugs, and until recently I tried to avoid those people in general, though the more I hang out with my cousins that harder that is to avoid.
As for alcohol, until recently I felt the same way as I did about drugs. I tried to stay away from drinkers, and I hated the idea, but then once I started hanging out at the farm I got to know some people who are a lot of fun even though they drink, and then I found out that some of my friends drink. These are friends who I had always held in high esteem and though of them as intellectuals. I started to question my beliefs, maybe drinking really wasn't that bad. When a friend that I like started to drink in front of me, and having told me how she had drank before along with other things I never would have expected, I had my weakest moment. This was the first time in my life that I had seriously considered drinking, even if it was only to get buzzed. I guess i just looked at her and though well how could anything that shes doing be anywhere near as wrong as I thought, I simply couldn't imagine it. Fortunately my sister and another friend were there and they were able to keep me from drinking, which I am happy about.
However I still don't know what I think anymore, I mean initially I lost respect for them, but then I realized that these are still the exact same people who I've been hanging out with, and its not like their drinking had affected our friendships. I still don't intend on starting to drink any time soon, and Kristen and I have made a pact that our first drink shall be together, but my beliefs have been shaken. I dont know how to feel about it anymore. I still care about my friends in the exact same way, but I still have that same fear of not being myself. So in general I try to avoid the subject and just ignore it when people do it around me.
However, recently my girlfriend and I have started to fight about this because she drinks fairly often and whenever she does I get annoyed or just unresponsive. This is really the only problem I have with her, and everything else is great, and I know that eventually I'll have to accept the people around me drinking anyway because there's no way I'll survive in the real world if I shun everybody that drinks. So this is what I'm lost and confused about now.
Some of my friends drink, others do drugs, and I don't know where to draw the line anymore, what I can accept, what I should be able to accept, what I should do. I always figured that my friends had that same ideas about it that I did, but I was wrong and now i'm in the labyrinth alone, and I need to figure the way ut that has the best result.
I have the same mentality as you Trevor. I shun anyone who does drugs and smokes. I don't mind if adults drink as long as it is not excessively but I DO shun underage drinkers. I'll still talk to them, but I won't become totally associated with them. For example, going out with them. I guess thats a little tougher in your case, with Karah...
ReplyDeleteI think those types of people can be very irresponsible and I'm definitely not that type of person.
yeah, i find drugs and smoking a lot worse due to their harming of the people around you, but with the people I know who drink, even though they are underage I still like them as people, and that really shook how I saw things because I had always thought that that kind of person is the kind who I would never want to associate with, you know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteoh and i don't think your example really works, because you don't go out with anybody, lol
ReplyDeleteLOL, I realized that and that your situation was drastically different. This kind of thing is one of the reasons why I don't date. I don't like getting myself mixed up into awkward situations that I'm not comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteIf I found out that Katy or Hannah, or even YOU for that matter, was an underage drinker or did drugs, I would slowly distance myself from that person. I know it sounds mean, but that's also what I do when I find that a person is getting too clingy because they happen to like-like me. (Nick Ruffo was a different story though. I don't think he had any romantic feelings for me. Plus I ended the friendship because he was just downright creepy and stalker-ish.)
well i sure hope Katy and Hannah aren't, they don't seem the time to me at all, and like I said I'm not, though this just gives me another reason to not do it, cause I enjoy hanging out with you, even if the distancing will happen sooner or later due to college and whatnot.
ReplyDeleteand nick is nick, there really isn't any other way to describe it, he gets clingy to anyone who acts friendly toward him and to someone like you who hates clingyness I can see where that would cause a problem
Yea, I've collected friends that are the least likely to do things like that. Plus they both know that I will kill them before distancing myself if I ever find them doing that kind of stuff.
ReplyDeleteYea...THAT was the clingyest person I've ever encountered. Tom Sage is the second.
lol
ReplyDeleteI figure if you like the person then you like the person, it doesn't matter if they do drugs/drink. It's who they are that matters.
ReplyDeletebut isn't drinking and doing drugs part of who someone is?
ReplyDeleteOnly a part, not their entire being. Drugs or alcohol consumption is really just a minute fraction of who they are as a whole. If you like the person as a whole you shouldn't toss them to the side because of such a small detail.
ReplyDeletewell idk, but i don't see it as so small of a part, sure it isn't a huge portion, but its still significant, at least to me. And I'm not tossing anyone to the side, well I would if it was drugs, but not for alcohol. I mean you cant say drugs have no impact on how a person acts, it changes who they are or would be, and I guess that's part of my problem with people I care for doing them
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't 'change them' though. Alcohol creates a disinhibiting affect which will open you up to things you wouldn't normally do. What you do while(a little, not black out drunk) under the influence is what you subconsciously want to do but are usually to shy or scared to do under normal circumstances. 'Liquid Courage' and all that jazz.
ReplyDeleteWhile I do agree drinking to the extent where you will black out and won't remember anything is irresponsible and stupid, I see no problem with a little social drinking.
But if you need alcohol in order to convince yourself to do something then doesn't that mean that you didn't really want to in the first place? or at least that some part of yourself didn't want you to? I mean, the way I see it, your impaired subconscious isn't an accurate representation of your normal self.
ReplyDeleteYou say all it does is uninhibit someone but how is that not making them a different person at least for the time when they are under its affects?
And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that adults shouldn't be disallowed their drinking rights, America tried that before and it failed, but I don't understand the purpose of drinking, or why people feel the need to do it before it become legal? the illegality part of it probably is a big part of why I have the opinion I do.
You are the same person, its not to convince yourself either. It's to let some of your barriers down-some of the barriers that hold you back.
ReplyDeleteLaws are put in place for the sole purpose of keeping people safe and I think if you drink responsibly (even if you are underage) you should be allowed to drink.
hmm, i guess I can see your point, but that still doesnt change the fact that the law is being broken correct? Yes, there are some people who can handle it, but there are also plenty of people who cant, and those people who become alcoholics ruin it for people, had I grown up in a European country where there was no drinking age and alcoholism wasn't a problem then I would be on your side of the argument. My main reason for standing behind the drinking age law, though it should be lowered to 18 once one is an adult, is that when you are younger 1. your brain is still forming and it has increased impacts, and 2. Your smaller body allows for easier intoxication. I also believe that there are plenty of immature people who resort to drinking as escapism and I don't believe that should be acceptable.
ReplyDeleteBut, like you said, if there was no drinking laws there would be less of a problem because there wouldn't be such a 'I'm being bad' feel to it. So the people who usually can't handle their alcohol intake well would be less likely to do so.
ReplyDeleteexactly, but there would be some problems with just taking away the law, such as a bunch of minors going out and binge drinking, like people tend to do on their 21st birthday, I don't know how this would be solved, but it seems a system of slowly lowering the age wouldn't work out that well either, I think the best course of action is to lower it to 18, when someone is legally an adult, and then trying to crack down on underage drinking. However, you obviously disagree with that last part
ReplyDelete