Well, life is...

Things are quite interesting in my life right now. Of course nothing can ever be interesting in a good way.

I have a girlfriend whom i love to be around, yet im still a horny teenage guy which i hate myself for.

I can never convince myself that its about time to start looking at colleges, i dont even know what major i want in college before i try to go to duke for law.

I am getting more and more pissy at more and more of my friends, i know one of them at least i have to forgive because she did nothing wrong and i still spased before hearing her side of the story.

I am getting addicted to WoW again, not necessarily a bad thing.

I am sitting at home alone on the weekends again, so thats back to normal, yet its the one thing i wish stayed changed.

I am not paying attention in school anymore, always reeding a book or daydreaming as things just get easier, i suppose i should be happy about that but im just losing all drive to work.

I need to find a job

I need to start working at science olympiad, i already know i didnt make the A team, and i know thats because my afterschool schedule is already too full of other clubs.

I have tryouts for mock trial this week, a club i've been in for 3 years, im competing for the last lawyer spot against a girl who has been in the club for only 2 years, but can any of them remember that? no

Im losing all my drive for everything, why is it worth it. I know this has been happening for a long time now, but its getting to another bad point, idk what else i can take. I cant wait for next summer where i can hang out with chris and ryan and the other people that dont know how messed up i can be, who have never seen me in school, if they are even gonna be at rotary again.

Im not focused, i keep drifting off, and all i did this last weekend was sit in front of my tv and comp playing KH2 trying to complete it, finnaly got ultima weapon. but im not happy, none of it is fulfilling. Idk what else to say, but i need to figure something out before it all comes crashing down around me, before i just drop my little world and sit alone in my house again, only leave for school, come home on the bus everyday, my little world is already slipping...


...and not even the songs i listen to, whether they be from newsies, rent, rocky horror, dr. horrible, repo, bowling for soup, blink 182, hollywood undead, jason mraz, owl city, are capable of helping anymore.


oh and cant forget the current song im relying on Break your bones by Kill paradise its really good, i would recommend listening to it. yet again another song i was shown by tyler, though he doesn't really listen to them much

wow havn't posted in forever

well, this is not something i should be saying at all.

I am jealous of him.

I am happy for her, but i am jealous of him.

I have a girlfriend, and i really care about her, and i always want to be around her, but i cant help but be jealous of him for having her.

oh well, and now i just hope people ignore this and i dont take shit for it getting to the wrong ears

Saltwater room

Its a song by owl city, and its been stuck in my head for the last 5 days.

It's chorus is just so captivating. i can't stop thinking about it, and it makes me feel awful but great at the same time.


Time together is just never quite enough
When you and I are alone, I've never felt so at home
What will it take to make or break this hint of love?
We need time, only time
When we're apart whatever are you thinking of?
If this is what I call home, why does it feel so alone?
So tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?
All the time, all the time



its mostly just two lines that keeps playing over and over in my head:

If this is what i call home, why does it feel so alone?

and of course

so tell me darling, do you wish we'd fall in love?




blah, i love music, and i hate music. I like bands that most people hate or don't know, and yet i can never find a band of my own, something to listen to that my friends havn't already know about for 3 years.

owl city-tyler told me about it,
bowling for soup-not very popular but still a fairly large fan base, most of my friends know their songs
blink-182-same as bfs
jason mraz-tyler again
the only things i have that my friends didn't turn me on to is the decemberists and Demons & Wizards

even with musicals my friends showed me dr. horrible's sing along blog, repo:the genetic opera, rent and rocky horror picture show. the only thing i have there is Newsies but my sisters are the ones who got me to watch that.

is it bad that there is nothing to call my own discovery among my friends?

is it bad that i want there to be something i can call my own?

The Matrix

well, i watched the matrix for the first time last night. Though i only watched the 2nd and 3rd movies. so yeah, i have yet to see the 1st movie, and that made the other two quite confusing. Overall i liked them, and they made me want to see the first one.

on another note, i went to one of my aunts houses yesterday for a family gathering, one of my cousins and i played frisbee, in 15 min the frisbee was transformed into more than 10 pieces of a frisbee. we accidentally ran over it, hit a tutle made out of cement, and threw it in the water. after that we played hide and seek with another one of my cousins, and than one of them came over and we watched the matrix 2 and 3.

this morning after a few hours sleep i went to my niece's(sp) christening she was really cute today. than we got home and watched the 2nd half of the negotiator and than minority report, they were good, and now im bored cause my cousin left.

much better weekend than last, now its time to get back to kingdom heart re:chain of memories

GTC

hey G this is the point where i recommend that you GTC, just because u did over the summer doesn't mean that you have the right to go back and start trying to cause drama to make up for what you might have missed. so if u even reed this, take my advice to heart, GTC its not that u aren't a great friend its just that u are currently going against one of the things i thought you stood for, yeah i am aweful and whatever, but at least im not contradicting myself.

for everyone else who isn't G, hi, whats up? nothing much here just sitting back enjoying clam chowder on one of the most boring saturdays of my life.

oh here's something to talk about, in my english 11R class we are currently doing this thing on the meaning of life. I have a lot of fun discussing, debating, or just thinking about that topicand im glad that i can submit 2 of my poems for this project, one of them being the one i posted a little while back, the other i can post if anyone wants me to, its called human, i wrote it with help from one of my friends, i had a lot of fun writing it, well beyond that, adios ppl hopefully your saturday's are going better than mine so far.

things to go, places to do

well, i got bored to day, and this was the result:

“The tower falls on judgment day”

If a man were to walk through life
and turn around to look back at the end,
what would he see as he turns around?
is it a single dark hallway
with a light flickering on and off some distance away?
Is it a path of fork after fork with no one there?
It very well could be a lavish hall
filled with radiant light and people everywhere,
or a modest path of trees with one person standing here or there.
But, what does it mean?
when a man comes to the end, turns around,
and sees himself still standing where he started,
then he turns around to see himself still unchanged many paces ahead?

If life was a wheel, as this man would say
What does that mean for us?
The mistakes we made? Or the people we think we love?
As it continues around.

To make everything meaningless.
Is life’s true goal?

besides that, my family is going up to sarinack(sp) lake on the 29th, i get to see blink-182 in concert on the 31st, school starts in 13, well 12 now, days and i still have 2 projects to finnish, i have barely started even one of them.

nothing else to say, good night folks

bared, but don't want to start school projects

Well, quite the eventful summer, yet i have barely written anything about it, not enough time at home, too much i have to make up for the 6 weeks i missed. so instead of starting my AP Chem project im going to write.

So week 5 of camp 3 people got fired in one day, two for possession of pot/smoking in their tent in the middle of the day(dumbasses), one fore being accused of hitting a kid with a metal rod. no one has been fired in over 5 years, and than 3 in one day. i had quite the experience besides that, everyone was stressed with the fewer staff, and conversation up there started to involve lots of jokes about going and smoking up in our tents, or the office or wherever.

We are huge magic fans up at camp, well most of us at least, and we used the card maker thing someone found online to make a staff/hobo deck, that was a lot of fun. I was action hobo, a 3/4 for 2 that eats himself to death at your next upkeep, but he has haste. we finnaly printed out 2 of the decks(one i have, the other flopps(another staff member) has) and we played with them, it was a lot of fun. We printed them out after all the campers left, and barely had any time to play with them though.

The last 2 days were pretty sad, i wont get to see most of them for another year, and some of them i probably won't see again. For example, Ryan C. one of my favorite ppl up there who read dark tower by stephen king, and got me to listen to demons & Wizards, a tribute band to the dark tower series, probably won't be back next year. Chris D doesn't know if he will be, after his staff was fired, and he got really stressed out.

Speaking of Demons & Wizards, they are an awesome Metal Band, their second album (touched by the Crimson King) is entirely dedicated to Stephen King's Dark Tower series, which is awesome.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cV7BYSxsKhw

there's a link to their song Crimson King, one of my favorites.

i was able to download a few D & D books off one of my friends computers, so now i can start to learn how to be a dm or just play well.

When i got back, i spent almost my entire summer salary on :

1. An 8G IPOD touch-which is awesome
2. A Pink and Black skirt from hot topic for my halloween costume
3. Black heels, also for my costume.

Idk if I've posted this before, but I'm going as a drag queen, and yes i am serious about it, i wasn't just joking as a lot of ppl thought i was, my friends are going to make me shave my legs, wax my eyebrows, and their gonna put make-up on me. we've been planning this since the day after last halloween.

I got a bunch of awesome (free) apps for my ipod touch, though i can't find out how to hook it up to my houses wi-fi, the password we use for the computers to connect to it didn't work on the ipod, so i hope to get that figured out soon.

i am addicted to facebook again, especially mobsters, restaurant city, and farmville, as well as knighthood.

i have read almost no blogs this summer and i'm almost completly out of the loop now yay.

I finnaly have the first book of the Wheel of Time series, so i can start that once i finnish my current book.

we are going up to sarinack(sp) lake in like 2 weeks with the boat we just got, while i was away, but im not sure how thats gonna work, cause i have tickets to go see Blink-182 at SPAC on the 31st with a few friends but we'll work something out.

well thats all i can think of for now, adios for now, hopefully i'll be able to keep up with things from now on.

Action hobo to the rescue

inside joke much. back from camp for the weekend, internet wasn't working last weekend but it seems to be fixed yay.

my nickname at camp is action hobo because i wear these fingerless gloves i got at adirondak(sp) extreme, everyone calls them my hobo gloves. ig i get time i will go into more detail with tyhe hobo stuff but have to go for now, bye

this very short week at camp

well, this was the first week with campers up at summer camp, i got sick. I got home today around 5:30 and i have a temp of 101.4. but even with this very short week i still have a funny story to tell. One of my friends at camp, Chris, started feeling bad on friday and he got sick, today he tells me how he watched repo over the weekend while he was slightly halucinagenic from his fever and it completly creeped him out(this was his first time watching it), he kept thinking it was real, and with all the blood and whatnot... anyway, thats all i have to say

Where is everyone?

im home for like 36 hours so i try to organize a get together with my friends at the movies, only four of them responded and two were a no, so now it is only 5 ppl, w/ 2 couples, thats not good. i wonder where everyone is, i won't get to see any of them for another week, oh well.

back for a little while

got back from rotary a little while ago, it was a long week. we are doing a starwars RPG with a few ppl up there, that should be fun. not much to do, hopefully i will get to rest up. got to play magic a bit, spent time talking to ppl. nothing fun and exciting to talk about

so, some fun quotes from staff week that should never ever be repeated:

"if i were not a staffer, a voloceraptor johova's witness i would be, RAWR"-during the song "if i were not a boyscout"at a campfire

"the devil can't write no love song."-a skit

"duck...and cover"-a 1950's emegency video of what to do in case of an a-bomb
others from that movie are
"It may knock you down" and "you'll get a burn worse than a aweful sunburn"

well, thats all for now, bye

things, stuff, and no Wow

well, i start work tomorrow, need to be at camp rotary in postenkill, at 10 am. I work for 7 weeks and get $600 for the summer, but free room and bord. i just got 2 12 packs of mt dew and magic cards to prepare for the summer, yay. well this means i don't get to play WoW for the next 7 weeks, don't know how i'll survive lol. ughh, its too warm, well i'm gonna sleep soon

Blub Blub

me-blub blub
my twin-blub blub blub
me-blub blub blub blub
my twin-blub blub blub blub blub
me-blub?
my twin-blub

that was an actual conversation i have had with her in the last week, lol, and if she finds out i posted that she will probably get pissed off.

Happy fathers day everyone, i forgot today was fathersday till i read ppls blogs and now i'm wondering if i can/should still have someone over today.

My birthday is in 8 days on the 29th, my party is on the 25th. Kristen and i are supposed to have no more than thirty-two people, kristen and i invited a total of thirty-five. when we made the list there were only 32 but later kristen added more without telling mom, and nobody has said no they can't come yet.

we have to go to chirch soon, so i should finnish this up fast.

So we have the pool, the hot tub, the trampoline(sp) and i'm probably gonna set up the volley ball net, plus we are having a bonfire. but i still feel like people are going to get bored and i don't know what to do. any ideas?

i have been addicted to mobsters and bloodlines, on facebook and myspace respectively, recently and WoW. WoW is very addictng. i was up till 1:30 this morning, questing.

i get to start camp on the 28th, and then i'll be able to play magic all the time, yay

well i guess thats it, adios peoples

things, stuff, and Wow

so, yesterday i spent about 5 hours trying to fix my computer and get the internet hooked up, which i am glad to say worked. Then i spent some time talking to people and downloading WoW, which, for anyone who doesn't know, is World of Warcraft,the largest MMORPG(massive multi-player online role playing game) ever. I think i am already addicted again, i dont know how i survived without it. lol, thats all i have to say, now im off to have brek

home, with no one to talk to, nothing to do

just a forewarning, i am not in a great mood and this will most likely just be a rant on what is wrong with my life right now and everything that is adding up

if you don't want to deal with it don't read on, you are highschoolers you don't need more drama on your plate i just need to say things even if its only to myself.

to start off with the lightest topic at hand A-prom, for anyone who doesn't know it is a prom for gay people, and anyone else who wants to go. It is today, right now, most of my friends my twin sister my girlfriend and my best friend are all there, i need to be somewhere at 9am tomarrow so i can't hang out all night, so i'm bored to hell. If i didn't sneak onto kristens computer i would be sitting around reading or playing pokemonm blue version, which may be the only relief i have right now, its something old, that i am used to. it hasn't changed, (well yes it has a few of the graphics are screwed up but whatever) it is comfortable and it is from the good old days when pokemon wasn't just another company grubbing for money making tons of remakes. Anyway so yeah i have no one to talk to and i wish i could have gone but that i can get over.

i have finals coming up, regents n math chem global and spanish, i have a birthday part to plan with my sister for our 16 then i need to leave for camp on the 28 to work there for 7 weeks in which time i will get no time with my firends most of which i doubt even like me(but more on that later)i get to spend my actual birthday up at camp during staff week which will be torture, really staff tortures you on your birthday and on staff week there or no campers around so there will be no safe place.

I got a physical today, found out i've grown 1/2 an inch in the last year and am now officialy 6 ft and will still have to deal with all my extended family saying "you must have grown 3 inches since i last saw you" when they see me almost once a month over the summer. and i also found out that next year or the year after i will have to start taking cholesterol tests due to my lineage.

my gf and i have been fighting more and more recently, we barely make each other happy anymore and yet still no one notices, part of my reason( a very small part) of thinking they dont like me. we get into arguements over silly things and stupid things and nothing has been working out right.

my firends, well moist of them at least, all hate me, they have for quite some time and for idk how many reasons that idk, they leave me out of everything claiming that it was a spur of the moment thing when i have heread specific people taling about it all week, they never want to be around me then when the weekend comes around you'll never guess who they are asking to have a pool part, or a movie night, or whatever then the next day they are off again. i know that someof it has to do with just stupid teenagerness but its too much to be just that.

then there is just everything else, people randomly telling me they hate me, im annoying, nobody loves me, things like that it just all masses up ontop of everything else

then just to make matters worse yesterday in english classn we had been doing to review packet. when we went over caesar she said brutus and cassius were the protagonists and antony and octavien were the antagonists, i said how? and she elaborated then later when talking about of mice and men she said "you could also say that society was the antagonist of this book" and i snickered, because that sounds just like something i would say, this whole year i have constantly expressed my pessimistic ideas about sociesty and i know that i would say that exact phrase. so i snickered, and she completly spassed out at me for "dissagreeing too much in class" this whole year i was actually haveing fun in english because i could express my ideals and when i finnaly AGree with her she spasses at me for disagreeing too much. then after class britany and Katy were telling me how hilariouse this was to them.

i have just been getting worse and worse and because there was no one cause when i WAS asked what was wrong i couldn't tell because i didn't know, and now all this is off my chest and i still don't feel any better

so, good/bad day

overall today had aweful parts and awesome parts,

we just spent the last few hours outside of the library playing capture the flag, it was really fun and i am all sweaty now

unfortunately last night i was unable to fall asleep for a few hours and idk why. i layed down for like 45 min that didn't work, i tryed listening to music, that didn't work, i tried do exercises to tire out my body, and it didn't work but eventually i did manage to fall asleep. \

so i got to school today feeling bad due to lack of sleep, have a test 2nd, 3/4th, 5th and instead of a pizza party 6th i got to miss it and go to lessens, to make matters worse my legs just started randomly hurting a lot

so overall i had fun but to start out it was a really bad day

storal of the mory? even the worst start to a day can have good parts, unfortunately i now get to go home and spend my friday night alone

is this normal?

are things really normal right now? have i just not noticied before how much things suck? people being douchebags and pissing everyone else off?

i have been feeling bad all day and music isn't helping much, oasis can be very depressing but now i am listening to weird al-alberquerque and i guess it helps a little because its so nonsence

nothing else to say adios

going home now, not "home" just home

AP test is over

so, i just got out of my APWH test, so excited.
I don't find out untill mid july but i think i did ok.
well, now i have to go through the rest of the schoolday whuich sort of sucks, but oh well

the test was easier than i thought and the essays where ok, well back to class :(

AP exams and distractions

well i have my APWH exam tomorrow. for those who don't know, this exam will decided whether or not i wasted the last 2 years of my life taking an APWH course or if i get college credit. Thankfully i am not spassing out, all day today i was carrying around a paper that said _hours and _ min till the APWH exam...a lot of people yelled at me lol.
I actually cant wait, its going to be fun.

on another note, i am writing a poem, with the help of a friend. I like it so far but still want to add more to it, i think it is the best thing i have written yet, even if i did have help. so if anyone would like to read the most recent copy here it is, if not, than whatever:

Human

Evil, decrepit, mortal beings
Constantly wishing to be immortal

An elixir of life that cannot be
Obtained by human hands

None have received this great potion
Though they all thought others had

They would say that they deserve it
For the work they had actually put off

Over this, war would be waged,
though there was no reward to be won

When their fighting finally breaks
To their secret pleasures they must return

Until death does steal from them all they have
They shall take all that they can touch

They will get bored of those things dearest to them
Then abandon and move on to others

Through the darkness and through the light
the human race walks on

Mother Earth cannot hold on
were it up to them, she wouldn't last much longer



well, that was it, i think its easy to tell what was by me and what by my friend by the difference in writing stile, and i want to put more work into it, rewording some verses and adding completely new ones, but i really like the ending 4 lines(only the last 1 was mine but oh well) If you have any feedback I would appreciate it, completely bash it if you like, i guess that would give me ideas on how to make it better.

anyway, i had those first 2 lines stuck in my head for like a week before writing it down and after that i just continued with help, if you cant tell it is about how awful the human race is.

If you have read all this, thank you. adios!

i almost died over the weekend, lol

well, i went to a camporee this weekend with my boyscout troop. in all there were somewhere near 20 troops there. My troop got there on friday and got all our stuff set up. before sunset i went over to visit a friend from another troop who is going to be working up at camp rotary this summer with me and we played Magic: the gathering.
Around 10 i got back to my tent and went to sleep.

at 1:30a.m. i woke up, went out of my tent in the pouring rain, to go fix 1 of the 2 canopies we had that was knocked over by the wind/rain, then we tied the 2 canopies together so they wouldn't blow over. i then went back to sleep.

at 3a.m. i woke up, again, went outside in the pouring rain, again, and helped to fix the two of them which had fallen over. i then went back to sleep.

in the morng, a little before 7 we awoke to find that our one canopy was dented up, and would be a pain to put back together at our next campout, the other one has holes in it from one of the poles. yay.

anyway thats my story of the weekend, i got home safely, after a weekend of playing magic(my elf deck and my goblin deck are boss), rain, wind, and competitions.

money vs. free time

so, i've been babysitting for one of my aunts this week. I got $40 per day for babysitting one of their kids and overall it was fun. I spent most of the time playing videogames with him, watching movies and going outside on their trampolean(sp?) but i had to wake up at 6:15 so i would be ready for when my mom had to take me to her work where i would get picked up and sit around their house for a while waiting for him to wake up.

So, i have money now but im not quite sure if the whole waking up thing was worth it, oh well.

In other news, i missed breaking of the silence yesterday. It would have been nice to be informed about it by some of my friends who went, but i guess even then it wouldn't have been worth it. I wouldn't have been able to go anyway. I got home at 6 and we went out to dinner with my sister. they just bought a new house for the first time which is great, but it's in nasau, lol. my neice is going to go to DPS :P

but on a more serious note, my sister is pregnant and they recently found out that the baby has a cist on the back of its brain, as of yet they don't know what will happen or if it will effect her at all, but all we can do is hope for the best.

OMG we went out to dinner last night at mercardo's. Its an italian restauraunt and i ordered this clams casino pizza. IT was a white pizza with clams, bacon, onions, and garlic with motserella cheese. it was delicious.

so besides whats going on with the baby and me missing the breaking of the silence everything is going great, i am $120 richer than i was and i have the ability to put off my homework for quite a while still

well thats it, ttyl

Easter weekend/spring break

so, spring break is finnaly here and my current plans involve me having no down time lol.

This morning i went to church at 10:45 for a runthrough of the mass i will be serving at tonight at 8. i got home at 12ish and have been putting off cleaning the house. Tomarrow is easter, yay for candy and $20-$50 from the easter egg hunt. Family over all day. monday One of my friends is probably comming over for the night than tuesday is my 6 month aniversery with my girlfriend so hopefully she will be comming over. Wed. thurs. anf fri i will be babysitting one of my cousins.

so the storal of the mory is, don't fill up your spring break, you are going to want to have down time, even if you can make a lot of money by filling up your time, lol. i might be 150-200 dollars richar by the end of the week but its not going to be very fun

things to say

So,i havn't posted in a few days, but i finnaly have access again so i have a few things to say.

I do realize that i overeacted to the whole aprils fools day thing, and that i was very bitchy all last week. I had been stressed out all last week due to some...family problems and was already high strung. It didn't take a lot to blow me over the edge. I still think whoever told Kristen is a douche and that they should learn to mind their own business and not tell people, who tell everybody everything, what they don't need to know. As for the whole event itself, i am mostly over it.

last week whenever i finnaly found something that would cheer me up, someone did something that got me pissed off. I found something for a friend which she lost a few months ago andthought she would never find it, when i found it and gave it to her i felt great, it was probably the best i felt all week, since before monday at least, but it was taken away and i felt aweful again, even worse now.
(Oh and i found it because i was feeling bad, so i went out to sit on the hill, to reflect on what happened on april fools, and a while after it started raining i was walking inside and saw it on the ground, thats why i was able to mostly get over what happened, bacuse had it not happened i wouldn't have found it.)

Had a pretty good weekend and am overall feeling a lot better which is good. However i was slightly PO'd today when i spent last night baking only to come in today and find that the bake sale was canceled, which some of my friends already knew about. Because i spentmy time baking last night, i forgot to study for my Chem test today and think i did aweful (aka low 80's or high 70's)

Only 9 school periods left till vacation, only 8 if you take out lunch because you don't learn any thing.

Oh, tomarrow my school is doing day of silence because we are on break during the real thing, yay.

AGAIN

Why is it that everyone feels the need to tell Kristen everything. She is my sister, she doesn't need to know everything about me.

I get it, you guys pulled an april fools joke on me, but i thought you realized that it wasn't funny! and you still tell kristen about it. and once again she brings something up at the dinner table that 1. she doesn't need to/shouldn't know and 2. my parents definately don't need to know.

You must realize when you tell a teenager something, especially about someone they hate, they are going to spread it around, thats how a rumor starts. 

Your joke wasn't funny, as a matter of fact it was very hurtful. Do you have any idea what it feels like to be ready to kill someone? to chase them down, tackle them, and really be ready to kill them? cause i do. Then you find out it was a stupid joke. Today all that was going through my mind was that i had been ready to kill him with my own hands and it was all a joke. A FUCKING SICK JOKE!

if it was anyone else i would have been angry, i would have puched them, i would have done something, but because it was him i was ready to kill him. This was just one straw too many. I was ready to go straight for his neck and i would have too, had he not run. As i was chasing him i was thinking about drop-kicking him and kneeing him where it hurts. 

Yesterday was the best day i had in a long time, it was the first day i had been tuly happy in a long time. It was a great day, i had started one of my projects, school was going great, i got to play austin in magic, i was supposed to have plenty of time with molly and i got an invite somewhere i havn't been before.

When i got home i went into my bedroom did my homework and lay numb on the floor for half an hour. i didn't cry because i already cried too much this week. I felt aweful, i had never even asked for the full story or anything, it was all i could do not to run and find ethan as soon as i was told.

It was going to be one of the amazing days, you know? One where you wake up and know that great things are going to happen. It was one of those days, and hen i found out the feeling was wrond. I thought about suicide for the first time in ages, i thought about breaking up with molly in more depth than even after snowball, and there is nothing i can do to take it back.

I was ready to kill someone, i even thought about killing myself and you are telling my sister about a prank you pulled on my. Thats a great feeling, 

havn't posted in a while

so, my computer is retarded again so the only time i can go on blogger is at the library or the rare opportunities when my twin sister lets me go on her computer so it sort of sucks. so, a few things to talk about:

conformisim(sp)(even a word?)- the act of being a conformist. I recently made a myyearbook, the site is ok and i like how it donates to good causes, but in all honesty the only reason i did it was because all of my friends had one. I am a conformist yay.

This weekend- yay i get to go on a boyscout trip this weekend, i havn't been on one in a while so i am excited. I still have to pack but hopefully that wont take long. I just have to figure out how friday is going to work because after school is teen cafe at the library and i am baking a chocolate cake, vanilla cupcakes, and brownies for friends birthdays, then i have to leave early so i can go home eat real food, get driven to the church where we are meeting, and then head out to woodworth lake.

anonymous(sp) comments-ok so recently myself along with a few friends have been getting anonymous(sp) comments from what we assume to be the same person, well we know is the same person. We aren't as bad as you think we are, we just adress the worst on our bloggs, if everthing is going well there is nothing to write about. we aren't as simple as you put us, i am not just a guy who hits girls, geoff isn't just some guy with hypocritical beliefs, and dan isn't someone who falls in love with everyone he sees. You don't know us as well as you think. Im not going to bash your beliefs about guys hitting girls or anything else because thats your opinion and what i posted was mine. i would like to know who it was who was basking my friends and i however i doubt you are brave enough to come out from behind your anonymous posts. If you don't like what they write you don't have to read it, thats your choise. and whoever posted the second one i have friends beside my girlfriend and she definately is not just a puppet 

my comment to ethan, because i doubt he will let it be post

well, it's nice to know that you think that too eathan, oh and if it were me, do you really think i would use annonymous? i want you to know what i think of you i'm not going to hide it. I don't try to act smart,k i strive to be smart, learn the difference. I am not all a smart-ass who goes around trying to disprove everyone, and ruin everyone's life. Oh and as for being part of the group, in case you didn't realise i was part of the group before i started going out with molly and i know i am not on great terms with everyone but there are some people who like me. oh, and don't go around making fun of people, sure you have a right to be angry, but lashing out at everyone who has ever wronged you? thats a little extreme. Tyler and dan don't deserve that.and one more thing, i know i don't have common sense i know that i will struggle once i'm out of school but guess what? at least i have a realistic goal and don't lash out at people because i question my future and myself.
go ahead and deny this comment, i'm just going to put it up on my blog anyway.

I don't want to be discriminated against

So seeing how everyone is going to find out anyway, i will say it here and now, I PUNCHED A GIRL. thats right i punched her and i had good reason. . I said she wasn't being very smart so she slaped me so i hit the back of her head, so she turned around and slapped me across the face
and I punched her in the stomache.

I don't care if you hate me for this i don't care if you are repulsed by the fact that i hit her.

I don't want to be discriminated agains because i was a guy. If i was a girl no one would have a problem with this, it happens all the time, but because i am a guy it is unspeakable for me to do this. What are the arguements? guys are stronger that girls? who gives a damn. if you believe that girls can hit guys but guys can't hit back that you are discriminating against guys, not all guys are stronger, not all girls are defenceless little things that need to be constantly protected.

One more thing, if i am being discriminated against as a man then why don't i just discriminate back, i could treat all blondes like thay are retards, i could treat all girls in general like they are defenceless little creatures that need to be protected.

You say it is immoral for a guy to hit a girl? screw you it is no more immoral then a gilr hitting a guy or another girl, or a guy hitting another guy.

Discrimination is wonderful isn't it.

I feel like there was something else important to say, or an example or something but i cant think of it so on to what i have to say next.

I don't care how bad you think it is, that gives you NO RIGHT to tell ANYONE especially my sister, ALL FUCKING THREE OF YOU HAD NO RIGHT. You have no right to tell anyone especially if you are only going to be telling them part of it because kristen was told by three different people and all three of those stories put together did not tell her what actually happened.

I thought you three knew better than that, if it was someone else sure i can understand but i thought you three weren't so stupid. thats right i called you stupid do you feel the need to slap me now? i have no problem hitting you back guy or girl


if you are going to discriminate against me then don't be pissed when i start discriminating against you .


edit: i don't anyone has read it yet anyway but for those who care i did apologize, and as far as i know she accepted it.

hurried blog

So, I'm at mock trial right now. It is a club at this school where we put on a trial, trying to prove our case, and compete against other schools. I am normally just a witness, but today one of our 3 lawyers can't make it so i need to fill in for them. Unfortunately, the lawyer i am filling in for did not leave me and of her stuff, so i currently have no cross examination for Terry gates, the defence witnes, and another lawyer doesn't have the opening statement that the person i am filling in for was supposed to do, oh well.

Besides that it has been a very good day. i got to see my girlfriend again, i got a lot of pocky, i finnished my APWH projects, my math teacher didn't check for the homework i didn't do so i got credit for it and i did manage to get some sleep this morning after i did my projects.

umm...i don't have much to say so lets think of something random, oh i know i will make a poll. I am debating on whether or not to change my spanish class, if i switch it to 7th and my lunch to 8th then i am in a better class and i get to have lunch with my girlfriend and a few other friends, but i would be leaving the friends i currently sit with and i would be leaving the only other person in that spanish class who actually cares alone, what should i do? i know not very exciting but thats all i can think of. good bye for now wish us luck with mock trial. well i'm off to go over stuff and try not to fail miserably.

back, tired, and don't know what to do

so, i got back from Florida a few minutes before 11, and i am completly wiped. I finally got to talk to my girlfriend again after 8 days though i still won't get to see her till tuesday. I am tired of being out of the loop for the past week, though from what i hear nothing has really gone on at all within the group. So i finnaly got my computer working again so i could do my APWH project that is due tomarrow, but its 12:49 and i have no energy left. I have no idea what to do. I need to do the project or else i could be kicked out of the class, but i have no energy and need to go to sleep, i wish we had gotten home sooner.

If we hadn't stayed the night at my aunts house in North Carolina everything would be ojk, but theres nothing i can do about that now. even now all i'm doing is wasting time. Well i can't do my project, i need some sleep. Hopefuly my teacher will understand.

oh something i nearly forgot. When i got back today there was mail from 19 different colledges for me, 19!!!! ughh i'm only a sophomore this isn't supposed to be happening yet.

be gone for a while

well, this could ver well be my last posttill next sunday or later because tomarrow i will be too busy packing or something once i get home, then saturday we are driving down to florida.

thats right, of our week vacation i get to spend 24 hours in a car driving there and 24 hours in a car driving back. and once i get back late on sunday i have to do 2 ap world history projects, one of them for the break, and the other because i was out of school due to my anckle being sprained. thatnkfuly the teacher said she might be able to give me a few extra days to finnish one of them.

speaking of APWH i got a 64 on the midterm which sucks, but i should be redoing the DBQ essay right now but im a procrastinator, yay me.

well i guess i should probably do that now and/or my chem lab so good night have a happy week.

i still havn't done my homework, lol.

i have been sitting around for i don't know how long and still havn't done my homework. i love/hate procrastinating

fun and stuff

so, i didn't go to school today and i'm sitting around being bored, playing diablo.

i got back from my doctors apointment and found out it is just a sprain, i'll be out of gym for 2 weeks (a lot of good that does seeing how next week is vacation) and i get to walk around on crutches that are too small for me, because thats all we had around the house.

oh, and even better news, if i don't heal before this saturday i'll need to walk around on crutches in disney world for a week, ughh i don't want to go on a 24 hour car ride only to walk around on crutches in a theme park :(

so, besides this i haveno other ways to put off my homework i didn't do last night, anyone have any ideas?

bad day(aka today)

so last night i went to bed 30 min late because of my apwh homework that megan said she do but didn't because i didn't clean her room, but it still wasn't done. I woke up 30 min early to try to finish it but when i got to school it still wasn't done, fun fun.

so i'd been working on it through my classes and i would have finnished it in time, however during 3rd period gym i jumped during basket ball and rolled my anckle. i hobbled to the nurses office and rested for 4th period, then my dad came and picked me up and they wheeled my out of the school in a wheel chair fun fun

so, i've been sittign around on the couch all day, i couldn't even go to the doctors because my dad is having a bad day(he has back problems) and isn't up to driving me there. I've had ice on it all day and thats not helping much. my ancle really hurts, i hope its nothing serious

oh, and now i've finnaly gotten over to a computer and i read a lovely little post from a few days ago on a "friends" blog Alexander Hale is the profile name, some of the people who im subscribed to are subscribed to him go check it out. him and i have had problems before but its getting to be too much oh and from now on just call me "sir buz killington" 

The snow is melting

yay its finnaly warm again, the snow is melting and its the perfect consistency for snowballs but its all going to be gone soon hopefully. Yay its like warm out.

so besides this i don't have much to talk about lol, anyone want to do my AP world history homework for me?

tomarrow

Not really looking forward to tomarrow :(

It is going to be the busiest thursday ever. I need to choose between going to 3 different clubs, i can either go to masterminds which i haven't been to the last 2 meetings of and should go, however if i do that i can't go to book club or mock trial or anime club. if i go to book club then later i need to either go to mock trial or anime club, and i really want to go to anime club but i would be more useful and sort of needed.

ughhh i don't like having to choose, at least thats like the only problem i have to deal with for now

Super Bowl Sunday(But i don't really care much about that)

so, i haven't posted in a while, and this time i can't blame it on my computer, I'm just lazy, lol.

I am cureently watching the super bowl, and it is very boring, i really don't like football, and the only team i ever even pay attention to is the Jets(Thats right, i'm a jets fan :o) in reality all i'm doing is putting off my homework. I don't even see why i have any homework, we just had regents week, this should be our time to relax :(. at least i don't have it too bad, only one project, I feel bad because i was hanging out with my girlfriend today, and she has a lot of homework to do and probably won't be able to finish it all.

ughh, i really don't have much to talk about :( so i'm going to talk about a manga series i just finnish: death note. It was awesome, and up till the end i would recomend it, then i read volume 12, thats just screwed up. :( i hate it when series have bad endings. For those who don't know, its about a high school student, Light Yagmai who finds a notebook that has the power to kill a person whose name ia written in it, i know, very realistic.

I'm tired now, time to put off homework longer and play videogames :)

My sisters

so, as some know and some don't, I have four sisters, and that really sucks. and as many people claim they don't know even after i told them many times I have a twin sister. Her and I always lock horns, on big things and small.

here's todays example: I was on the phone with my girlfriend on the house phone and a call came through. It was my twin sisters newest boyfriend so i gave the phone to her telling her i was on the other line and she had 3 min. of course 3 min. later she refuses to give the phone back she says call her on my cell phone, i say i have no minutes and she says so? then your bill will go up and mom will take your cell phone away and I'll laugh.

My siblings can be so annoying, at least 2 of the others have already moved out and the other one is like never home (even though she finds time to eat my cookies) I hate being the only boy :(

Finnaly Able to Post again

So, my computer sucks. My administrator account isn't working, whenever i tried to acces the internet it kept closing, and it still does. Finnaly i got the brilliant idea to go on the other account and thankfuly it is working for the time being.

Here's what i want to talk about today: ...i forgot lol, ummm lets come up with something new.

Regents week at my school: so its regents week so on tues, wed, thurs, and fri we only have to go in if we have tests. lucky me, i had tests tues, wed, and thurs. to make things worse we had a snowday today so the test i had for today is put off till friday, great. So, after my test yesterday me and my girlfriend tried to get together at my house but her mom wouldn't let her for another bs reason. later in the day her mom kicked her out of the house for no reason. Though her dad wouldn't let her leave thankfuly. This week definately is not turning out ver well.

Anime conventions, teenage drama, siblings(not mine)siblings&their boyfriends(not mine), Kingdom Hearts

So their are multiple parts to this topic and its best if i go in order i guess. Some will have direct transitions others won't so here goes:

Anime Conventions: so This weekend I went to genericon XXII, the anime convention at RPI. It was Friday, Saturday, and Sunday and at nights there was a co-ed sleepover at my girlfriends house. Friday was a lot of fun, we saw an awesome comedian called uncle Yo, Saturday was filled with drama that im not going to go into too much detail on, and today was a lot better. Obviously due to the con i was unable to post.

Teenage Drama. enough said, it is generally stupid, most of the time both parties are in the wrong somehow and it is often due to a rash decision. Thankfuly most of it was solved, however we came really close to losing friends, and i think one might be too far to fix, but the drama with her started befor the con so its no suprise that it continues after.

Siblings(not mine): so this weekend we had to deal with my girlfriends siblings who were also at the con. she has an older sister and a younger sister and they definately did not help things. Her younger sister was very good compared to normal, even if she had to tag along with us almost the entire time. Her older sister was just a bitch though, like normal. as for her older sisters boyfriend, he thinks he is really nice, but he isn't. when the youngest told her mom about him and his gf being mean and then her mom talked to them about it he spazzed out saying that he had been being nice tohim, and today he asked me for some money saying "some on, i've been being nice to you"

Kingdom Hearts: sobefore today i had never played kingdom hearts, and my friends keep "forgetting" that, aka they gasp everytime i say it just like when i say i don't like chocolate or things like that. Any way, i played it and i don't see what the big hype about it is. Yes it is a good game and it is fun, and it has awesome characters, but i just don't think it was worth all the hype, and yes i did get off the starting island so don't go saying that i wouldn't know because i haven't gotten anywhere.

anyway thats what i have to talk about. overall it could have been better, but i did have fun. hopefully things will work out.

I am losign my (con) virginity tonight

thats right, i'm losing it. My con virginity that is, i am going to my first convention, Genericon at RPI tonight, then me and a group of my friends are all staying one of our houses, then going back tomarrow, yay for the anime convention.

So after hours of planning everything is finnaly working out and we're all going to have a happy wonderful time at the anime convention untill someone starts drama in our group, and face it, we're in highschool, its going to happen.

only 3 hours left till we get there, yay. I just hope nothing too serious happens, and that tonight we will have time to straighten out the kinks in some of our friendships, and there are a lot of them right now.




I want pocky, and I just lost the game, for those who don't know what the game is, if youi think about the game you loose the game, its a simple as that, you can loose the game once every 15 minutes and you aren't allowed to quit the game, whenever you lose tyhe game you must announce that you have lost the game to everyone near you. the only ways to win the game are to be baptized in India or have the pope tell you, in perfect english, that he just lost the game, but even if you do fulfill one of these requirements you can still loose the game at a letter time, lol it never ends.

1st post after the rules

So i don't really know what to talk about so just some random ideas:

1) my parents- so my mother has absoulutly no sense of time really she didn't pick me up today until 7:30, an hour and a half later than when i normally get picked up because she "had to reorganize her desk at work" so she called me at 6:30 telling me she was about to leave and arrived an hour later from what is a 30 minute ride. and its not like this is a onetime occurance, it happens all the time.

2) girls-so my girlfriend and i had an arguement today about the difference between a girl calling herself fat a a girl saying she is too fat. i could see no difference however she and every other of my female fiends then proceded to tell me that a girl saying she is too fat does not mean she is calling herself fat, which i still don;t comprehend. This is so confusing.

Wizards Tenth Rule

So this is my final blog on the topic of wizards rules, if you want to find out the 11th rule you can read the book Confessor by Terry Goodkind.

" Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self."
From Phantom by Terry Goodkind

very simple, very acurate. If you turn away from what you know is true to what you wish is true nothing will come of it, as a matter of fact all you are doing is hurting yourself. If you know, with out a doubt, that something is true and refuse to admit it then you are just puting off the inevitable, and slowing yourself down to reach the final destination, whatever that may be.

Thats it for this rule, so random stuff: I didn't get home till 8:30 today, i was participating in mock trial where we reenact a court trial, we won :) I don't want to start my HW, and I am extremly glad that america has progressed enough where there were no assassination attempts today.

Wixards Ninth Rule

So this is the second to last rule i can right about, even though there are 11 rules the 11th one can really be shortened down and it would suck to give it away after all it is "the rule unspoken since the beginning of time" so todays rule

"A contradiction can not exist in reality. Not in part, nor in whole. To believe in a contradiction is to abdicate your belief in the existence of the world around you and the nature of the things in it, to instead embrace any random impulse that strikes your fancy ? to imagine something is real simply because you wish it were. A thing is what it is, it is itself. There can be no contradictions.Faith is a device of self-delusion, a sleight of hand done with words and emotions founded on any irrational notion that can be dreamed up. Faith is the attempt to coerce truth to surrender to whim. In simple terms, it is trying to breath life into a lie by trying to outshine reality with the beauty of wishes. Faith is the refuge of fools, the ignorant, and the deluded, not of thinking, rational men.In reality, contradictions cannot exist. To believe in them you must abandon the most important thing you possess: your rational mind. The wager for such a bargain is your life. In such an exchange, you always lose what you have at stake."
From Chainfire by Terry Goodkind

I know, quite long and don't worry tomarrow is another short one. There isn't really much to expand on this one, its too long :( lol. All it is saying though is that nothing can contradict itself. To believe that a contradiction exists is to give in and give up. nothing else to say really, tomarrowas the last rule.

Wizard's Eighth Rule

Well this has to be my favorite rule, as you might be able to tell, the wizards eighth rule and the namesake of this blog.

"Talga Vassternich. Deserve Victory."
From Naked Empire by Terry Goodkind

short, simple, and to the point. I give everything my all and it really irks me when i see someone cheating their way through or having someone else carry them to their goal. When so few people actually try anymore whats going to happen when everyone finally does stop trying and there is no one to cheat off of anymore? yay for the destruction of the human race. anyway those people who do still work hard will eventually get their rewards...hopefully

Wizards Seventh Rule

so, i never got around to posting yesterday, something about not getting home till 6, not getting on the comp till 11 and my internet not working lol. So, today is the seventh rule, that means that there are only 4 rules after this and i'll need to come up with something else

"Life is the future, not the past. The past can teach us, through experience, how to accomplish things in the future, comfort us with cherished memories, and provide the foundation of what has already been accomplished. But only the future holds life. To live in the past is to embrace what is dead. To live life to its fullest, each day must be created anew. As rational, thinking beings, we must use our intellect, not a blind devotion to what has come before, to make rational choices."

It is saying that we need to move on and continue changing. if we stop and only look back and only try to hold on to the past we are doomed. we can't always rely on events that happened in the past to lead us and tell us howto solve our curent problems. you need to live in tyhe now so that you can see things for what they are and so that you can solve your problems

Wizard's Sixth Rule

So this is by far my favorite book in the series. from here on the rules tend to get a little longer and less like common sense. So yeah favorite book, so i have quite a bit to say here.

"The most important rule there is, the Wizard's Sixth Rule: the only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason. The first law of reason is this: what exists, exists, what is, is and from this irreducible bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. It is the foundation from which life is embraced.
Thinking is a choice. Wishes and whims are not facts nor are they a means to discover them. Reason is our only way of grasping reality; it is our basic tool of survival. We are free to evade the effort of thinking, to reject reason, but we are not free to avoid the penalty of the abyss that we refuse to see. Faith and feelings are the darkness to reasons light. In rejecting reason, refusing to think, one embraces death."
from Faith of the Fallen by Terry Goodkind

So to those who ignore their problems good luck to you because the consequences aren't going to just go away. If you wish something would happen, it isn't just going to come about, you need to do what it takes to make it happen. A rumor passed around is no more true than a simple lie told to someone. even though many people might believe something to be true do to the ignorance of one that does not mean that it actually is true, nor will it just become true. Just because someone wants to believe someone hates them and is out to get them, it doesn't mean that they actually are. to willingly believe a lie will only hurt you, it will gain you nothing.

Wizards Fifth Rule

So by this point you may have started to realize that these rules are all just common sense stuff. well this is the last rule like that, after this they become more meaningful, at least i think so. so here it is

"Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie."
From Soul of the Fire by Terry Goodkind

So yeah more common sense stuff but it is still important. Very few people can lie with their entire body, most only with their mouth. You must pay attention to what they do or its just easier to screw you over. Ummm,not much else to say about this one, nothing i can really relate it to in my life or anything.

so...what to say next? random fact: today is my three month with my girlfriend. I still have to find a time to smooth things out with the friend i talked about yesterday. so i guess i better get started on my hours of homework for tonight :(

Wizards Fourth Rule

So, this rule actually applies to my life right now. The forth rule is another good one and it makes a lot of sense.

"The Wizard's Fourth Rule, he called it. He said that there was magic in sincere forgiveness, in the Fourth Rule. Magic to heal. In forgiveness you grant, and more so in the forgiveness you receive."
From the book Temple of the Winds by Terry Goodkind

Right now one of my "friends" is pissed off at me and i don't really know why. It has been like this for a few months now. Many people hypothesize that part of it is because he feels that i am trying to steal my girlfriend away from him, and i can see why he doesn't want to loose her as a friend. I don't want to steal her away though, i want her to stay friends with him. Now according to him there are other reasons behind it, but i really don't know why he seems to hate me so much. So I've been trying to confront him recently so that we could try to talk things over and smooth things out between us. After trying to do this for a few weeks now it finnaly seems like we're going to be able to, so i really hope this rule is true, because i don't want to lose him as a friend nor do I want my girlfriend to be hurt. heres hoping everything turns out well.

Wizards Third Rule

So, I like this topic and am going to continue with it for the next few days until it is done(mostly because i don't really have much else to talk about right now). So, this rule is very simple and short yet it is one of the most important and has much relevance to the rest of the series.

"Passion rules reason."
From the book Blood of the Fold by Terry Goodkind

People will make really stupid decisions when in love. They can get to the point where they will do whatever their love asks of them. at this point those people stop existing as their own, and just become part of their love. This is not a good thing because it will leave them sense less of what effect things will have on them, and they could care less, as long as the person they love is happy. However is the person they love falls out of love then they are completely destroyed. So passion can destroy a person but it can also be very helpful, when someone loves you it makes it so that you can help them when no one else possibly can, it lets you be there for them in a way you couldn't before.

So this is my blog for the day, i really hope i come up with something to talk about after im done with the rules.

Wizard's Second Rule

So, i still don't have much to talk about so i figure i might as well continue with the wizards rules.

"The Second Rule is that the greatest harm can result from the best intentions."
This is from the book Stone of Tears by Terry Goodkind

Much shorter than the first one, lol. It is sad that this is true, if you do something for someone, hopeing that it will make them happy or something, it can turn out awful. Since you are so close to someone, if you screw something up it will hurt them even more. I simple mistake can mean so much to someone, and really hurt them. heres the first example that comes to mind, If you baked someone peanutbutter cookies and they ate them and had a alergic reaction. Ok i realize that that is an aweful example, it has nothing to do with the greates harm, it would fit if the rule was just that harm can come from even the greatest intentions. anyway, this is all i have to say for today.

Wizard's First Rule

I hope no one who actually sees this page won't get turned away by the title, the wizards first rule is very important, and i hope to say something about the others rules eventually as well. Every rule is very serious and has a very important meaning.
The 1st rule is:
"People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they're afraid it might be true. Peoples' heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool."
This is from the book Wizards First Rule by Terry Goodkind.

I hate this rule because it is true, we are all stupid and we all make mistakes, and it is so easy to trick us. I know from personal experience how easy it is to be tricked into believing a lie. There are just some people in my life who i really wish would understand this, that they can be wrong sometimes even though they believe they are right

I know this post is very short but its all i can think of to say right now, if you agree or disagree or anything please say something