So, I hate being single, and i almost started going out with one of my friends because of this. Not a good plan, not only would it have probably ended up hurting our relationship, but also because it would prove another of my friends theories that i'm a serial monogamist, which in truth I am. Since my sophomore year I've had 4 girlfriends, and with gaps of less than a month in between each. Before I had my first girlfriend I didn't really know what I was missing, but after that I realized just how much being single sucked, and thus whenever I found myself to be single again I would try to remedy that as swiftly as possible.
Well, thankfully I realized before it was too late, that while i do like this friends as more than a friend, it wouldn't be fair to her because if i wasn't just desperate to not be single I might not have wanted to ask her out, well that and that I really like someone else who, unfortunately, doesn't like me back.
So after being flirtatious for a week or two, i told her what I've been thinking and she hasn't said a word to me since. In truth I did lead her on, and I am an awful person, but I didn't really know what I wanted.
But all the events of the past few weeks have gotten me back on a "what is the meaning" thing. I've been wondering if the meaning of life could really be something so simple as love if it comes and goes so readily, or maybe that's just because I don't know what it really is yet. Oh well, this whole questioning is probably just because of my recent rejection, but oh well, life is funny, and every event has extenuating circumstances.
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